GEM OF THE WEEK

Her name is CARMEN HERRERA, an artist and an architect. She was born in May 31, 1915 to a Cuban-American family in Havana but has lived in New York City since the mid-1950s and has recently had a later-in-life work recognition in international circles. She is currently 100 years of age.

Herrera's work has an almost spiritual precision and is highly reminiscent of Barnett Newman and Leon Polk Smith. She was a contemporary of many abstract expressionist artists - most notably, Wifredo Lam and Yves Klein but since she painted in relative obscurity, remained unknown until her later years. Her works, viewed in light of the time period they were painted in, are important milestones in the evolution of the geometric minimalism movement. After six decades of private painting, Herrera sold her first artwork in 2004 when she was 89 years old.

Herrera has said of her work, “I do it because I have to do it; it’s a compulsion that also gives me pleasure.”

Basically, Carmen Herrera had to wait for 94 years to become a famous artist. She never relented in her strive for success; even when her efforts weren't yielding fruits in the direction of her expectations, she kept pressing on.

I don't know what you are pursuing as a goal for success but Carmen's success story should tell you that it's only God's time that is the best. Keep aspiring higher and setting more goals. Let your only challenge be yourself; to be better than your previous achievement. So go out there and be the best you can. It's never too late to begin.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

SELF LOVE AND INVESTMENT

It hurts when your heart is broken. It even hurts more when the one you love doesn't love you back but the greatest hurt comes when you don't love and accept yourself for who and what you are. This hurt is never felt like the piercing pain of a broken heart or broken trust, rather it reduces your self-worth and esteem.

Your first love and last love is SELF LOVE.

As a woman, you're worth more than a thousand gemstones so you don't need anyone's acceptance to be fulfilled in life. You don't need anyone's approval to attain a certain height in life. You don't need to be a genius to be a success. All you need is Determination. The mistake we make as women is believing that our happiness lies with a man or your relatives or people around you. Our completeness lies with a man but in truth our true happiness lies with us.

Why do you need a man before you can eat, shop or even give yourself a treat?

Who says you can't build your own empire?

Independence accords respect to you from all angles and it molds you to be responsible because you have to fix your schedule to suit every program you have for the day. There will be no time for any irrelevant discussion of any kind and your energy will be channelled wisely to resourceful activities.

Invest in yourself. Love yourself because no one loves anyone who doesn't appreciate themselves. We know you've got a problem that seem unsolvable; but tell me since you've been thinking and killing yourself about it, have you gotten a solution? You aren’t the only one with a problem. We have wealthy people who even with all the money they have; are not happy due to one disease or another. And you are hale and hearty yet you call a man every second to buy you one thing or another. I challenge you to go out there and get a job no matter how little the salary is or how menial the job might be. There is so much fulfilment in knowing that you work to earn your living, coupled with absolute confidence.

You think being single is a curse, my sister being single come with FREEDOM OF CHOICE. Don't hate yourself because you're single. Don't compare yourself to your friend in a relationship or is married. You don't know what they are going through. No relationship or marriage is a bed of roses, even roses have thorns. Every morning just look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself "I LOVE YOU". Once you love yourself enough, then you can handle any other love from others and the blows that come from it. If you cannot be completely happy with yourself, you cannot be completely happy with the world. Start little and the steady progress will definitely keep you going. There's no time to stay sad and sob about the problems of the world. They were there before you came and they will still be here when you're gone. So wake up, make up and go somewhere you wouldn't go on a normal circumstance; the spa, vacation, shopping, get a makeover (I didn't say tattoo o) etc.

Life cannot serve you lemons and you sit and complain. My dear make lemonades and move on with life. Life is short.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE 1

What is the key to a successful relationship?

It’s not about finding the right person; a successful relationship is based on two people doing the right things to attain a peaceful coexistence. The reason why people are still struggling today is not because they haven't found the right person but because they are doing all the wrong things.

The reason why people have been making series of mistakes in life is the concept of a Soulmate. They believe that when you find that one person, he will automatically know what they need at any point in time and make it available to them and will be on the same wave meeting each other’s needs. Both male and female have this thinking. But these needs will not be met if you don't communicate. I tell people that the key to the most successful relationship is communication.

Some ladies say "if he really loves me, he should know what I need". He doesn't have magic powers to read your mind and even if he does, he should have a limitation even superman was limited by mediocre rocks. Men are not configured that way to read your emotions. They are not configured to think deeply like we do. That's why they say behind every successful man is a woman because we are the thinkers.

A successful relationship is not void of troubles, especially if it eventually lands into marriage. Even the bible made it clear that it is not compulsory to marry ("it is good for a man not to marry" 1 Corinthians 7:1) because it is hard in marriage. Life is generally hard but if you must succeed it is worth the strife. You don't expect a pay off in your life and your relationships without having to do anything.

Your marriage/relationship is not a 50/50 proposition, you will definitely fail if you program your mind this way. It’s not a give and take proposition. It’s a 100% deal. You give your everything and hold back nothing. You share in their goals and interest even if it doesn't interest you.

When I started with my man, we talked about a lot of stuffs. He basically did all the talking because I didn't talk much but his area of interest was far from mine. He didn't know jack about architecture, he didn't understand a word of what I was ever talking about and I saw every professional term he said as boring but I just listened either ways. At some point in the conversation, I would start praying that the conversation would end or I'd die the next minute. But I thought of it one day and decided to find a common ground in our conversation and make my contributions to his interest his strength and his contributions to my interest my strength, if my relationship must work. I thought him basic things he needed to know about my field to hold an interesting conversation and he taught me same too. Now I teach people stuffs in his field of study in his absence and he helps me meet my project deadlines with clients and school works. I see my relationship now as a partnership and its fun. We talk for hours tirelessly, learning new stuffs from each other. We have our ups and downs but it is my success story in progress. There is no one perfect relationship.

So just find that thin line between your interests and keep talking about it. The more and longer you talk, the stronger and more comfortable you become with one another. Talk about everything and anything. Be it reasonable or unreasonable because your spouse is your next best friend.

Communication becomes tough in marriage. While you were dating, communication would be really fun but it’s not so in reality. You're trying to keep each other happy, telling each other what you want to hear, making out time for fun stuffs even when you've got no time. It's like wishing you would be woken by a kiss to see a handsome Prince right beside you. Lolxxx! You don't really discover life until you're bound to each other with the ring and you're committed to each other and it becomes really difficult when the kids come along. When you're with someone all the time, it becomes a struggle and irritable. 

So don't base your success story on another person's fantasy. Build the beauty you want to behold. 

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

GEM OF THE WEEK

Our GEM for the week is Kechi Okwuchi.

Kechi is one of the two survivors of the Sosoliso plane crash that happened on December 10th, 2005 which claimed the life of 60 of her classmates. It has been a physically painful and emotionally draining experience for her but she held on and excelled through it all.

Kechi Okwuchi graduated with a First Class from the University of St Thomas Houston Texas (May 16th 2015) and was also inducted into 6 academic honor societies. She was also the most Outstanding student for her major in Economics.

Her life inspires us to look forward to tomorrow amidst the turbulence on our way. Her constant visit to the hospital for series of processions under blades of surgeons didn't limit her academic pursuit for excellence. So what's your excuse?.

When life throws lemons at you, just make lemonade. 

 

Kechi before the crash

                                                            

    See video of her story below.

ARTIFICIAL ENHANCERS; EROTIC BEAUTY

Basically, some Men feel cheated by Women when they eventually realise that what their eyes craved for in a woman they just met turn out to be a mirage.

They crave for certain features like long hair, certain eye colour, huge butt/hips, maxi boobs etc. either a feature they want their prospective off springs to have or just to satisfy their LUST. Alas! They become so disappointed when they unfold the wraps on the parcel and realise it’s all FAKE.... LOLxx

 I can imagine the look on the face of such a man.

 I received an email from a male reader asking me why women aren’t honest anymore with their body features and what prompts them to adorn themselves with all the fake stuffs for beauty enhancement.The truth is that it's Men that push us to go for all these beauty enhancement items. HOW?

They prefer to talk to and approach the ladies with all the supposed features than ones in their natural look. For instance, I attended a wedding with my sister few years back, hoping to meet someone but annoyingly all the attentions of the cute male folks were directed to her. As a matter of fact, she was asked if I was her younger sister because I looked younger and less attractive.  I felt left out, not good enough, and not up to the trending standard.

On several occasions I have been with some male friends and they usually speak highly compliment-wise of thick endowed ladies and they want to be identified with such women. Then what happens to the skinny, less endowed ones. They simply feel not good enough and less of a material. Thanks to the beauty enhancers, most women have regained their confidence and have gotten a number of attentions.

This is to answer the question on why most women use the artificial beauty enhancers but on the other hand LADIES, why do we need all these to prove our relevance to a man. I am not against it but in my honest opinion, when you eventually land this man as yours and he finds out that all he saw were fake; your relationship becomes a SHAM and far from your dreams and idea of a successful relationship/marriage. You find out that your man's attitude towards you changes. From my research on how men really feel after they find out that you were all artificial; they become uncomfortable with you, they lose their trust in you and even doubt if your love for him was real at the first instance. They feel less secure around you because you presented your insecurity first.

After my analysis on comments from different men from different races, I came to a conclusion that they are attracted to women with false everything because they want to flirt and feel satisfied at the moment and also have something to brag about but if they are looking for that special someone, they would probably go for the ladies who adores and presents themselves as they are even if they are naturally endowed. Men do things in reverse. They meet you, want to get into your pants, before they bother about what you really look like afterwards. 
If you are in the showbiz, then by all means invest in the fake boobs, butt, hair and lips. Wear as much makeup as you like, because you are in the business of showmanship.  Men usually do not go home with call girls to see her take everything off.  Because it is usually dark in a club, he is not shocked by her illusion and has no intention of taking her to mama.  However, the potential wife or girlfriend, trying to imitate the illusions created by these showbiz league, shocks her potential man with each fake body part she reveals. Men in general do not like shock of this kind and are truly amazed at how much makeup alone can totally change a woman’s appearance.

Fake features are an illusion even if it’s trending amongst the celebrities who try to make it permanent by going for surgeries.... NEWSFLASH! They have to continue with this surgical inconveniences to keep up with the appearance and it doesn't mean that their kids will inherit these features when born.

So appreciate your body and make the best out of your physique. If you're endowed, flaunt it. If you're not endowed, still flaunt it. There is a reason for your uniqueness. If everyone decides to be Kim Kardashian then who becomes YOU.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

HIS FIST OF REVERSE PASSION

When a folded fist is well recognised in a relationship as the guideline, the supreme, the authority, an act of correction or an act of gruesome love, then there is a problem.

Physical abuse is a form of domestic violence in which the victim is brutalised by hitting, shoving, grabbing, biting, restraining, shaking, choking, burning, forcing drug/alcohol use, and assault with a weapon, etc. Physical violence may or may not result in an injury that requires medical attention.

Many women go through this in their homes but are left with no options of escape. 

These women are usually a nervous wreck, trusts no one, and generally live a life of fear. Children in such homes end up becoming abusers when they grow up because they have a damaged belief of themselves, other people and the world at large.

What is really disturbing is when a single woman faces this form of abuse from her boyfriend and still believes he will change when they get married. To some degree of acceptance when a married woman refuses to leave for fear of her children's safety, it's understandable but what's your excuse as a spinster/a young woman when you're constantly beaten by a man who your family doesn't even know exists in your life. 

This piece is not to address the abuse in a marriage but the ignorant abuse young ladies face with a man that is still in the boyfriend zone. To the single ladies out there, Use Your Head. If he beats you when he hasn't married you; Oh! Yes dear he'll probably enslave you when you're his wife.

There is no form of domestic violation of a ladies body that is an act of love, it's all sheer manipulation because a gentleman will never lay a fist on you. To the lady who just sits there and swallows all these disrespect, hoping he would change and love you like when you guys first met; well here's a spoiler, that's his true nature and don't think you would have a chance of changing him. One’s true nature unfolds as years go by in a relationship. 

My advice: Flee from that relationship. It’s killing your value as a woman, ruining your confidence and tarnishing your self-esteem. See this

I received emails from ladies who pleaded to be anonymous;

“Dear Cynth, I am in a relationship with this guy. We live together but he beats me at every slightest provocation and even throws my stuffs out. i stay with my friends for some time and when we make up, i move back in with him. i have contemplated leaving him but i love him too much to let him go"

“Hi Cynth, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years plus now and I love him but I’m tired of fighting with him which gets really physical. He beats me and calls me names which provokes me to retaliate. Please what should I do? I really love this guy." 

I really feel your plight ladies but I have same reply for both issues. I understand as a woman how much it means to truly love a guy but if he beats you, he doesn't deserve that love. A man who fears God and respects his mother's feminity would never have the guts to beat a woman. I will tell you in utmost confidence that there are guys who respects a woman's value. Stop subjecting yourself to inhumane treatment and abuse all in the name of love. Leave that guy and focus on building your future, the one you've always wanted. In due time, you will meet a man who values your worth. FLEE FROM THAT ABUSE, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN GEMSTONES. 

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.
(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com).

Warm regards.

MY DRESSING, MY REPUTATION

What has my Dressing got to do with me?

 Trend says everyone is wearing it and there's nothing wrong with showing a little skin besides it's the in thing. But Virtue says you are a masterpiece and should respect your honour and privacy. Your dressing should be the legacy you have laid down not some fabric or some tailored piece.

I am not against Fashion but I am for moderate dressing. 

We hear news of women being stripped in most African countries for disrespecting public decency or appearing in a certain revealing way in public yet we as women refuse to make amends to redeem the virtues of the women folks. Women are now categorised in a certain sense and judged based on their body features and appearance and not what they can deliver. Women are not even believed to make an honest success without using their endowments as collateral. THAT'S ABSURD THINKING!

 A popular Nigerian female poet wrote;

 "We raise girls to cater to the fragile ego of men. We teach girls to shrink themselves , to make themselves smaller. We tell them 'you can have an ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. We teach girls shame- close your legs, cover yourself. We make them  feel as though by being born female, they're already guilty of something. And so girls grow up to be women who cannot see they have desires.  They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they think. And they grow up- and this is the worst thing we do to girls- they grow up to be women who turn pretense into an art form" - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Your dressing defines your confidence, your general emotion, your strength as a woman and generally your personality. You control what you want people to perceive you as from what you wear. Dressing has gone way promiscuous. Ladies now feel comfortable to wear pieces of clothes we used to call rags so comfortably because trends has made it alright. You can't wave bacon in front of a dog and not expect it to follow you around. When you use your body to attract a man's attention, he's not gon want anything else but your body. Don’t expect to give him a piece of your intellect or your beliefs to keep him. We all want to act like all men are the same; if you keep doing the same thing to attract men, you will definitely attract the same kind of men. If you use your body to attract men, you will attract the same kind of men. But if you try to offer them your intellect or your belief, you will definitely attract a different kind of man. I have nothing against your choice of social hangout but you will agree with me that a woman who chooses the religious institution as her social hangout will attract a different kind of man from a woman whose choice of mingle is the club. 

Women have to understand their value. It’s inappropriate for someone else to see your breast, cleavage, or your laps not to talk of your sacred area. If it is so right, how many guys have you seen revealing their sacred. The truth is you can’t dress like a CALL GIRL and tell him not to judge you from your dressing. It’s like someone dressed in a police uniform and claims not to be one. That uniform is his identity, his personality and his reputation. So dress the way you want to be addressed because it's your identity, your personality, and your reputation. Your body is your temple, your glory, your pride and when you misrepresent it, you are disrespecting it. Don’t expect others to do otherwise.

Can someone try explaining what a ladies stomach, cleavage, booty bump, breasts, laps is doing outside her outfits in public?

Let’s face it, we all know what’s right and what’s wrong, Yes, The Media displays these stuffs as a form of ENTERTAINMENT, but it doesn’t make it right for one to dress in such manner in public.

What do you stand to gain when you have a lot to lose? Dress modestly ladies. Respect your Glory because you are the crown of your man and the sceptre of your children, like it’s said, the way you dress defines how you will be addressed and perceived.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.
(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

HEALTH, NUTRITION AND FITNESS

Today on Health, Nutrition and Fitness; I am going to talk about a female disease which is believed to be a myth and is yet to be scientifically proven exists. This disease is called VAGINA DENTATA (toothed vagina).

Many have never heard abou this disease. it is believed to be found in 1 out of 1,000,000 women. its rare state makes its belief of existence narrow thus many see it as a joke. I didn't say I believe in its existence but since 2011 I came across this disease as a name and seeing the case of limited informations on it, it has made my interest in finding the truth of its existence.

Vagina Dentata (toothed vagina) according to Wikipedia is said to describe a folk tale in which a woman's vagina is said to contain teeth, with the associated implication that sexual intercourse might result in injury, emasculation, or castration for the man involved.

I came across a video on youtube where a woman and her doctor explained how her case was resolved via surgery. See here

The myth of this disease has various sides to it but all is geared towards instilling fear in men from raping women and having sexual knowledge of strangers not their wives.

Many websites and videos having informations concerning this disease have either been shutdown or deleted respectively but the fear of this disease was over emphasized in a horror movie 'Teeth'.

Some of these myths can be read here, here and here

Does it really exist?

If Yes, What are the causes and symptoms?

Even as Vagina dentata is believed to be a myth, there is still another disease that has teeth which is not a myth. It is called Dermoid cyst or Ovarian cyst. It is mostly the reason many women face miscarriages when they take in. Would elaborate more on this in the next piece on health, nutrition and fitness.

My advice to Men, be careful where you plug your tentacles. you just dont know which teeth is waiting to disable your ability. If you're married, be faithful and stick to your partner. If you're not married, avoid trial and error, you might not be lucky. #justsaying

Be safe and aware of your bodies lADIES because it is the gateway to another life. Report to the clinic/hospital anytime you experience a pain or a strange growth or change. it might save you an extra day of existence.

I'll still be onto informations addressing this disease; its causes and symptoms for better knowledge of it because I really wanna know. It's an interesting topic that leaves me curious and NO! I dont have it..... Lolxxx

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

HIS SILENCE DRIVES ME NUTS

Yea, this can be really frustrating because we women love to talk and when we are talking and you're not responding; it can be really annoying. We just want to have a piece of your mind.

But Ladies, the reason why he isn't talking is because he feels insecure, unsafe, ridiculed, challenged, or put down at some level when he talks. He feels that the best thing for him to do is to just keep quiet and let it go. As a lady, you are the crown of your man. If he feels unsafe inside your home or in public; then you engineered it. The best way to get him talking to you and not giving you the silent treatment is to make him feel he's the man, he is safe and not saying stuffs that put down his ego; don't challenge him, he would just shut down on you. This is not a guaranteed formula for success in your relationship, it’s just a basic concept on how you deal with a man.

You as the woman, might be overwhelming him, or scaring him. Yes! No matter how rigid a man looks, his greatest weakness is the woman he loves but the feeling can be too over bearing when he isn't in the mood. Watch how you approach him with communication (appropriate tone and energy). He might have a problem with a particular way you approach him and just decides to be reserved in response because he doesn't want to yell or scream. Face it! If he yells at you, you'll definitely talk back and say worse words to antagonise him and this would probably make him lay his hands/fist on you. So most times the silent treatment keeps him from hitting you or saying unpleasant things he doesn't mean. Watch your approach.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

SOULMATE

Is there such a thing as a SOULMATE?

We have this over exaggerated concept about marriage that there is that special particular person that makes us complete. It makes a great story in romance movies where two people search to find one another.

Aww! So perfect. But Hey! Snap out of it, it doesn't work that way in reality. There is no special one person that makes you happy or complete. We even spiritualise it that God created that one person for you. It’s ridiculous. So I think the emphasis placed on finding that special person is a huge mistake. That is not to say single people shouldn't be hopeful in finding a good person that doesn't drive them insane to the extreme. Women who go about believing that they could change a man. I've got news for you; if it acts like a skunk, walks like a skunk, and smells like a skunk. Lady! It’s a skunk. Don't marry or end up with someone that's gon be a problem in your life just because you are caught up with the idea that it has to be that one person. It is not common sense.

Find a good person. If you do the right things, any two people in the world can have a successful relationship. That’s the principle surrounding love, patience, forgiveness. These principles are so powerful but are being ignored in relationships, People believe that when they just find the right person, then happiness will be automatically released to them.

From the age I was stunned to like the male folks, I was stuck with the illusion of my fairy tale happily ever after with Mr Right. It’s just that glamorised illusion. And ladies let's be honest, that is just a nightmare that hunts us endlessly. Now I am not saying all hope is lost and there are no treasure to be found. As far as I am concerned the myth of a perfect mate can't be over emphasized but it’s just a folk tale, just like the fairy godmother and the wicked witch. This mistake can't be overruled. Logically it is believed that you find the right person, get married and you live happily but when they end up being miserable in their relationship, they realise it’s been a mistake from the idea and concept of Mr Right or a Soulmate then you hear stuffs like “men/women can’t be trusted, I’m never gon fall in love again etc.”….bla bla bla

Just find that person that you feel comfortable around them and make it work. Everyone is crazy but find the amount of crazy you can live with and make it work. Love is simply two imperfect people who chose to see each other perfectly. Stop waiting for THE ONE. He/she doesn’t exist.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

DIAMOND IN THE ROCK

Our GEM for the week is Ida Bell Wells-Barnett

Ida Bell Wells-Barnett, also known as Ida B. Wells, was an American journalist, newspaper editor, suffragist, sociologist, Georgist, and an early leader in the Civil Rights Movement. She was born into slavery, Wells became an orphan at the age of 16 and was forced to support herself and her siblings by pretending she was older and becoming a teacher. She put herself through University and became a writer, an editor of her own news publication and a political activist on racial injustice. After the lynching of two friends, she conducted research on how lynching was used as a way to control or punish African-Americans, rather than being based on criminal acts. Wells was also active in the American suffrage movement. 

She documented lynching in the United States, showing that it was often used as a way to control or punish blacks who competed with whites, rather than being based on criminal acts by blacks, as was usually claimed by white mobs. Wells was a skilled and persuasive rhetorician and traveled internationally on lecture tours. 

She was born in July 16, 1862 at Holly Springs, Mississippi, U.S. And She died in March 25, 1931 (aged 68) at Chicago, Illinois, U.S.

Her life story is an inspiration to women. She was born a slave and made an orphan in her teen but she never placed boundaries of limitations to her goals and achievements in life. Nothing can limit you from achieving your height in life except yourself. Life and People will mock you, put you down, friends and family will desert you but I tell you all hope is not lost. Dare to dream 'cos if you can dream it, you can achieve it.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

MARRIAGES OF THE 21ST CENTURY

Let's talk about MARRIAGE. Yes! Marriage...
If you're not married, read on you could learn a thing or two and if you are married, please read on, you could share a thing or two. I might not address the topic as it pricks your heart but I will write from experiences of fellow women like you and I.

 I chose this topic for my first piece because the rate of divorce in our society is alarming which keeps me wondering why the singles can’t wait to get in while most married want to quit. Marriage is an institution where you are issued your certificate before graduation (I wish schools will do that too). Nobody gives you an outline on what you will see in it.
No one plans for a divorce ahead of their marriages but things happen. Marriage is tough and a hard nut to crack. It becomes a wreck when two people who once couldn't live without each other give up while trying to crack this nut. In the same vein, it becomes a success story when endurance and perseverance is applied.

 There's a saying that love is better in the movies. Remember the feeling you have when you see a romance scene in a movie and wish your spouse will treat you like in the movie, Courtship is the movie while Marriage is the reality. He remembers your favourite stuffs, remembers anniversaries, buys you gifts often, allows you to have your way with everything etc. that is in courtship. In Marriage, he doesn't even remember his birthday not to talk of yours because life becomes more challenging and tasking when all the courtship plans are implemented.

Few weeks ago, I was discussing with one of my married friends and I told him that I want my marriage to be like my parents'. I know it's not the very best but it's a success story and he said "never apply the same techniques your parents' used in their marriage because it might not work for you. You don't know how long and how much they have sacrificed in trial and error to achieve what you admire now. Create your own success story".

No two marriage are alike. What works for you might not work for me. You surround yourself with friends who paint castles in the wind; telling you how perfect their homes are, how their husbands are so awesome, leaving you aimlessly comparing your home with theirs. The truth is men keep it real; they discuss issues they face in honesty over drink but we women hold our shoulders up and fake a perfect relationship. See eh! Those women who make it seem so rosy are the ones that might be faced with big problems. Infact they might be sitting on a mountain of problems and is feeding you with her personal fairy tale. Wipe her concealer and you might find a black eye celebrating a new day on her face. We all had that happily ever after fantasy.

We the singles spend all our life planning our wedding day which lasts for just a day, forgetting our marriage which lasts for a lifetime. We get so caught up in the process and not the FOREVER journey.

 I don’t want to be all religious and super natural about this blog but marriages fail because you weren’t prepared for the journey which the vows usher you into. You believe that God will do it all for you. God has done everything he is supposed to do for you, the rest is up to you to figure out. We plan on the ideal man, how to find the ideal man, how to keep him, even how to react when he proposes. LOL! YES we practically think about everything to make sure it’s all perfect but we fail to plan on how to tackle life’s hurdles. Infact the major planning ends after your wedding day. The next planning comes up when it seems too tough for you to handle, you plan a DIVORCE.

My honest advice would be abstain from friends who aren’t real, if that friend gives you a reason to wreck your home or your relationship, desist from them because your vow says FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH........TILL DEATH DO YOU PART. Sorry I don’t know the lines yet. Mingle with people who gives you more reasons to stay and not quit. If you can’t trust anyone, post what you are passing through in relationship sites or blogs like this anonymously and have people with like situations give you responses on how they solved it in their situation. There is nothing you think you are going through now that hasn’t been witnessed and overcame by someone else. Stop being hard on yourself because you are not alone. Believe me it gets easier by the moment.

You don’t have to fight about every single thing and when you argue, the whole world doesn’t have to know you’re arguing. Don’t expect a perfect man or woman because that perfect person doesn’t exist. If you’re married, its okay to fight, its okay to disagree and its okay to keep it real because you signed up for it and if you’re not married, pick the level of crazy you can live with. Don’t marry for the wrong reasons.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

ABOUT VIRTUOUS WOMAN BLOG

Hi Friends,

My name is NNANYERE CYNTHIA, a First degree holder in Architecture from Abia State Polytechnic, Aba. Nigeria. I'm currently undergoing my Second degree/Masters degree in Architecture at Eastern Mediterranean University, North Cyprus. Why Architecture again?. I know that would be the question on your minds but that would be a topic for another blogpost.

I'm honoured to be the admin of this blog.

Basically this blog is for all but precisely affecting matters concerning women in their relationships. there's a saying that no man would ever understand a woman; even if she's a school, you will never graduate. THAT IS SO TRUE! because even as dynamic as our faces are, so we all are in characters and personality but one thing still remains common amongst us. Our desires are geared towards the same things though it is seen in different contexts.

For years, I have craved to be a voice for women/young ladies and a source to help men understand their women but I just didn't know how to accomplish that. Back in the days, I had this passion for writing and I was really good at it but placed a hold on it when I harnessed a new passion and love for buildings. WEIRD right! I know. Each time I thought of starting a blog addressing issues concerning women and the strive they go through each blessed day and how men struggle to understand us without success; feeling really frustrated, I suddenly get the chills and a cold feet (like a bride on her wedding day) because it requires a lot of work and attention.

So I decided to take the bold step today. it might be a success, it might not be but if I could save a marriage or a relationship, help a traumatised young lady or even give HOPE to just one woman or man through this medium JUST ONE!. I would be fulfilled that I actualised a goal and mission.

  Join me on this bumpy ride, I can't promise that the road will be smooth but you can trust me because A VIRTUOUS WOMAN IS A PRICE ABOVE EVERY GEMSTONE AND A PRICELESS GIFT TO HER MAN FROM GOD.

Send in your relationship/personal questions and we will all share our experiences on the issue. I pledge its confidentiality

If you would have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com).