A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE 1

What is the key to a successful relationship?

It’s not about finding the right person; a successful relationship is based on two people doing the right things to attain a peaceful coexistence. The reason why people are still struggling today is not because they haven't found the right person but because they are doing all the wrong things.

The reason why people have been making series of mistakes in life is the concept of a Soulmate. They believe that when you find that one person, he will automatically know what they need at any point in time and make it available to them and will be on the same wave meeting each other’s needs. Both male and female have this thinking. But these needs will not be met if you don't communicate. I tell people that the key to the most successful relationship is communication.

Some ladies say "if he really loves me, he should know what I need". He doesn't have magic powers to read your mind and even if he does, he should have a limitation even superman was limited by mediocre rocks. Men are not configured that way to read your emotions. They are not configured to think deeply like we do. That's why they say behind every successful man is a woman because we are the thinkers.

A successful relationship is not void of troubles, especially if it eventually lands into marriage. Even the bible made it clear that it is not compulsory to marry ("it is good for a man not to marry" 1 Corinthians 7:1) because it is hard in marriage. Life is generally hard but if you must succeed it is worth the strife. You don't expect a pay off in your life and your relationships without having to do anything.

Your marriage/relationship is not a 50/50 proposition, you will definitely fail if you program your mind this way. It’s not a give and take proposition. It’s a 100% deal. You give your everything and hold back nothing. You share in their goals and interest even if it doesn't interest you.

When I started with my man, we talked about a lot of stuffs. He basically did all the talking because I didn't talk much but his area of interest was far from mine. He didn't know jack about architecture, he didn't understand a word of what I was ever talking about and I saw every professional term he said as boring but I just listened either ways. At some point in the conversation, I would start praying that the conversation would end or I'd die the next minute. But I thought of it one day and decided to find a common ground in our conversation and make my contributions to his interest his strength and his contributions to my interest my strength, if my relationship must work. I thought him basic things he needed to know about my field to hold an interesting conversation and he taught me same too. Now I teach people stuffs in his field of study in his absence and he helps me meet my project deadlines with clients and school works. I see my relationship now as a partnership and its fun. We talk for hours tirelessly, learning new stuffs from each other. We have our ups and downs but it is my success story in progress. There is no one perfect relationship.

So just find that thin line between your interests and keep talking about it. The more and longer you talk, the stronger and more comfortable you become with one another. Talk about everything and anything. Be it reasonable or unreasonable because your spouse is your next best friend.

Communication becomes tough in marriage. While you were dating, communication would be really fun but it’s not so in reality. You're trying to keep each other happy, telling each other what you want to hear, making out time for fun stuffs even when you've got no time. It's like wishing you would be woken by a kiss to see a handsome Prince right beside you. Lolxxx! You don't really discover life until you're bound to each other with the ring and you're committed to each other and it becomes really difficult when the kids come along. When you're with someone all the time, it becomes a struggle and irritable. 

So don't base your success story on another person's fantasy. Build the beauty you want to behold. 

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.