THE GENERAL PSYCHE BEHIND A PAST RELATIONSHIP

Everyone gets to that point of "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE" either due to incompartibility which I believe never exist in a relationship (it's just one of those big words) or the consistency of the negative. Then a couple just have to go their separate ways and become ex's.
But let's be truthful about it, if you ever come in contact with your ex, there's still a heart skip, a huge hate or a lil glow that lurks around somewhere. 

Now when one gets into another relationship, you're left with the option of either telling your NEXT about your EX or just acting like it never happened.

My advice, tell him/her about your past no matter how scary, ugly or dark it is. Maybe not at once but in bits and pieces also considering the mood of your partner. Eventually they'll get to know all the ugly things and this might probably endear them to you as they wouldn't want to repeat the mistake of the EX.

But if they leave because of your past, then they are not for you. Your perfect match is usually there to fill in the gap and erase the mistakes thereby giving you a fresh start and something to look forward to.

Bare it all, you'll definitely feel lighter and then you can start on a clean slate. The past will only be a burden to you and the more pasts you accumulate, the heavier you'll feel and the more baggages you carry over each time.

Some relationship don't work not because they date the same calibres of people because as a matter of fact, no 2 persons are the same.

Your relationship fail because of the baggages you keep carrying over to your NEXT.

Let go of the guilts and insecurities; and give yourself a chance to have an amazing relationship.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

THE QUALITIES OF A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER

To be a GOOD WIFE you must be a GOOD WOMAN. A Good Woman makes a Good Wife and a Good Wife becomes a Good Mother. Follow the steps below to be that good example to your daughters.

1.  Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.
2. Don't expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other's keeper.
3. Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.
4. Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5. Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.
6. Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.
7. Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.
8. Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.
9. Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10. Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband's right. You must give it to him how he wants it. It's very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand starvation for too long (even the anointed ones)
11. Never compare your husband to your one time Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.
12. Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.
13. Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.
14. Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.
15. Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16. Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.
17. Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.
18. Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19. Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home.
20. If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always team work.
21. Don't be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.
22. A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.
23. Does your husband like a kind of cooked food? Try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food.
24. Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.
25. Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty.
26. Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.
27. Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.
28. Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.
29. You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason.
30. A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife,pray always for your husband and family.                                                                                                                                                                    

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.
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Warm regards.

MISPLACED BEAUTY OF HER YOUTH

Pregnancy is such a beautiful experience for both parents especially when it is a first one. But what i don't seem to understand is the idea behind a nude maternity shoot.

Every Adult can generally relate to how you got pregnant which is not short of sex. Then why would you choose to bare your husband's private property in public in an act of devalue. There is a saying that pregnancy can never be hidden so why do you have to go nude as a proof of your maternity status.

I have seen very beautiful photo shoots that revealed the glow and glamour of a pregnant woman with virtue and honor without seeing her nudity.
Ladies, your body is a private and personal icon of entertainment to your husband.. He paid your parents to take you from their home. So you make it a public business when you decide to crash the media with your nudity.

From the above maternity shoots, we can clearly appreciate the radiance of being pregnant without beholding their privacy. Your body is a temple of God and only your husband have been given the right by God to behold that temple. Accord a little value and respect not just to yourself, but to your husband because you are the crown of your man and the sceptre of your children.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

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Warm regards.

PEADOPHILIA....the perverted minds

A woman is beautiful, an epitome of so many significance, a direct link to creation which crowns us Mothers. 

Our role as Mothers is not limited to cooking and home making. As a mother, you owe a greater role of motherhood to your daughter(s). From your teachings, they can be better mothers of their homes and the society at large. Daughters in most families are faced with peadophilic violations from adults who are family friends, uncles, maids, drivers, brothers and even their fathers. It’s not news of a father sleeping with his daughters even as young as 5 years of age. The question is where was their mother when these atrocities occur?

Many mothers don’t have a personal relationship with their daughter(s) that they don’t even know if they have been through any form of physical molestation. Trust and confidence between a mother and daughter is not a piece of pie, it is painstakingly built and can be lost in just a snap, so it's delicate.

Don’t allow any visitor, brother, driver, uncle or family friend lap your female kids and don’t leave them alone with any opposite sex not even her father (this might sound ridiculous).

My sister and I had our experiences of violations of which she was the only one who was bold enough to call my mom’s attention while we were kids. I couldn’t say a word because I didn’t think she would believe me. It made me have natural dislike for men while growing up but it took only the Grace of God from getting to the point of existing with them in a common space to where i am now. That doesn’t mean these memories have been flushed down my gutter.

Below are in-depth testimonies of the experiences my friends had as kids (the names are fictitious not their real names):
Bella wrote;

As a child, there was this pastor that always came to my house on courtesy visits to my family. I usually run into his arms and I would sit between his legs. When my mom goes into the house to put something together to serve him, he would finger me. Though I still live with the faint memories of what happened then but I didn’t know what he was doing so I relaxed. Besides it wasn’t hurting at all.

Chloe wrote;

We all shared the same bed as children (both boys and girls) which includes the servants. Most night when I slept, my cousin would push my pant aside and touch me all over. I just keep still but awake. And when I steer he would pretend to be asleep. He was way older than I was and I was scared to confront him and I didn’t want to wake everyone. Though I had a little glimpse of what he was doing but he never went more than that.

Many young girls ain’t as lucky as to these point of molestation. Some are raped and impregnated or even worse beaten up for refusing or putting up a fight. She can’t tell you because you won’t believe her or might even be faced with beatings from you. Who would believe it if her daughter tells her that her pastor is molesting her sexually?. No one!

Please Mothers, pay closer attention to your daughters. Communicate with them about everything. Teach them about the dangers of SEX at the wrong time and wrong age. Teach them at their young ages where men are not supposed to touch them. Don’t blame her quickly even before investigating the truth in her complaint. Most of these children are introduced to Homosexuality at a very tender age and being their first intimate experience without your knowledge stick to it for the rest of their lives. May God give us the grace to guide the flock he has given unto us as Mothers in Jesus Name, Amen.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.
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Warm regards.

GEM OF THE WEEK

Her name is CARMEN HERRERA, an artist and an architect. She was born in May 31, 1915 to a Cuban-American family in Havana but has lived in New York City since the mid-1950s and has recently had a later-in-life work recognition in international circles. She is currently 100 years of age.

Herrera's work has an almost spiritual precision and is highly reminiscent of Barnett Newman and Leon Polk Smith. She was a contemporary of many abstract expressionist artists - most notably, Wifredo Lam and Yves Klein but since she painted in relative obscurity, remained unknown until her later years. Her works, viewed in light of the time period they were painted in, are important milestones in the evolution of the geometric minimalism movement. After six decades of private painting, Herrera sold her first artwork in 2004 when she was 89 years old.

Herrera has said of her work, “I do it because I have to do it; it’s a compulsion that also gives me pleasure.”

Basically, Carmen Herrera had to wait for 94 years to become a famous artist. She never relented in her strive for success; even when her efforts weren't yielding fruits in the direction of her expectations, she kept pressing on.

I don't know what you are pursuing as a goal for success but Carmen's success story should tell you that it's only God's time that is the best. Keep aspiring higher and setting more goals. Let your only challenge be yourself; to be better than your previous achievement. So go out there and be the best you can. It's never too late to begin.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

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Warm regards.

SELF LOVE AND INVESTMENT

It hurts when your heart is broken. It even hurts more when the one you love doesn't love you back but the greatest hurt comes when you don't love and accept yourself for who and what you are. This hurt is never felt like the piercing pain of a broken heart or broken trust, rather it reduces your self-worth and esteem.

Your first love and last love is SELF LOVE.

As a woman, you're worth more than a thousand gemstones so you don't need anyone's acceptance to be fulfilled in life. You don't need anyone's approval to attain a certain height in life. You don't need to be a genius to be a success. All you need is Determination. The mistake we make as women is believing that our happiness lies with a man or your relatives or people around you. Our completeness lies with a man but in truth our true happiness lies with us.

Why do you need a man before you can eat, shop or even give yourself a treat?

Who says you can't build your own empire?

Independence accords respect to you from all angles and it molds you to be responsible because you have to fix your schedule to suit every program you have for the day. There will be no time for any irrelevant discussion of any kind and your energy will be channelled wisely to resourceful activities.

Invest in yourself. Love yourself because no one loves anyone who doesn't appreciate themselves. We know you've got a problem that seem unsolvable; but tell me since you've been thinking and killing yourself about it, have you gotten a solution? You aren’t the only one with a problem. We have wealthy people who even with all the money they have; are not happy due to one disease or another. And you are hale and hearty yet you call a man every second to buy you one thing or another. I challenge you to go out there and get a job no matter how little the salary is or how menial the job might be. There is so much fulfilment in knowing that you work to earn your living, coupled with absolute confidence.

You think being single is a curse, my sister being single come with FREEDOM OF CHOICE. Don't hate yourself because you're single. Don't compare yourself to your friend in a relationship or is married. You don't know what they are going through. No relationship or marriage is a bed of roses, even roses have thorns. Every morning just look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself "I LOVE YOU". Once you love yourself enough, then you can handle any other love from others and the blows that come from it. If you cannot be completely happy with yourself, you cannot be completely happy with the world. Start little and the steady progress will definitely keep you going. There's no time to stay sad and sob about the problems of the world. They were there before you came and they will still be here when you're gone. So wake up, make up and go somewhere you wouldn't go on a normal circumstance; the spa, vacation, shopping, get a makeover (I didn't say tattoo o) etc.

Life cannot serve you lemons and you sit and complain. My dear make lemonades and move on with life. Life is short.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.

A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE 1

What is the key to a successful relationship?

It’s not about finding the right person; a successful relationship is based on two people doing the right things to attain a peaceful coexistence. The reason why people are still struggling today is not because they haven't found the right person but because they are doing all the wrong things.

The reason why people have been making series of mistakes in life is the concept of a Soulmate. They believe that when you find that one person, he will automatically know what they need at any point in time and make it available to them and will be on the same wave meeting each other’s needs. Both male and female have this thinking. But these needs will not be met if you don't communicate. I tell people that the key to the most successful relationship is communication.

Some ladies say "if he really loves me, he should know what I need". He doesn't have magic powers to read your mind and even if he does, he should have a limitation even superman was limited by mediocre rocks. Men are not configured that way to read your emotions. They are not configured to think deeply like we do. That's why they say behind every successful man is a woman because we are the thinkers.

A successful relationship is not void of troubles, especially if it eventually lands into marriage. Even the bible made it clear that it is not compulsory to marry ("it is good for a man not to marry" 1 Corinthians 7:1) because it is hard in marriage. Life is generally hard but if you must succeed it is worth the strife. You don't expect a pay off in your life and your relationships without having to do anything.

Your marriage/relationship is not a 50/50 proposition, you will definitely fail if you program your mind this way. It’s not a give and take proposition. It’s a 100% deal. You give your everything and hold back nothing. You share in their goals and interest even if it doesn't interest you.

When I started with my man, we talked about a lot of stuffs. He basically did all the talking because I didn't talk much but his area of interest was far from mine. He didn't know jack about architecture, he didn't understand a word of what I was ever talking about and I saw every professional term he said as boring but I just listened either ways. At some point in the conversation, I would start praying that the conversation would end or I'd die the next minute. But I thought of it one day and decided to find a common ground in our conversation and make my contributions to his interest his strength and his contributions to my interest my strength, if my relationship must work. I thought him basic things he needed to know about my field to hold an interesting conversation and he taught me same too. Now I teach people stuffs in his field of study in his absence and he helps me meet my project deadlines with clients and school works. I see my relationship now as a partnership and its fun. We talk for hours tirelessly, learning new stuffs from each other. We have our ups and downs but it is my success story in progress. There is no one perfect relationship.

So just find that thin line between your interests and keep talking about it. The more and longer you talk, the stronger and more comfortable you become with one another. Talk about everything and anything. Be it reasonable or unreasonable because your spouse is your next best friend.

Communication becomes tough in marriage. While you were dating, communication would be really fun but it’s not so in reality. You're trying to keep each other happy, telling each other what you want to hear, making out time for fun stuffs even when you've got no time. It's like wishing you would be woken by a kiss to see a handsome Prince right beside you. Lolxxx! You don't really discover life until you're bound to each other with the ring and you're committed to each other and it becomes really difficult when the kids come along. When you're with someone all the time, it becomes a struggle and irritable. 

So don't base your success story on another person's fantasy. Build the beauty you want to behold. 

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. If you have topics and discussions you would like us to talk about here on this blog also feel free to send an email.

(letstalkvirtue15@gmail.com). 

Warm regards.